Drew's 11th B-day & December Festivities!

Drew, you finally got your pet this year.  When our neighbors moved out of their home and needed someone to take their sweet Rufus (black lab/blue healer mix), I don't think they had any idea how perfect a match she would be for you!  You love this dog so much and since she is about 11 years old, it will be really sad someday when we have to say goodbye, but for now she is in heaven whenever you are around!!!  You are happy to play with Rufus rain or shine, hot or cold, dressed in your Sunday best or any time of the day.  And, boy does she love you!  I never thought I could love a big dog, but how can you  not love a dog that drops the ball at your feet and waits patiently for you to throw it and then, if she needs some loves, waits for you to pet her and shake her hand. She really is your dream pet come true!!!  And we are so happy for you.  I love to watch you interact with her out the kitchen window.  It warms my soul to see you smile and laugh and play with her and although that grass you are standing on in this picture has mostly been dug up by her, it is worth it to see the joy she brings into those beautiful blue eyes of yours!

 You are one of the most forgiving people I know.  You asked me to play a duet with you a couple years ago and I didn't do so hot.  I think I played a whole octave too low!  You let me take a break the last couple recitals and I was just fine with that!  But, somehow you had faith in me again and asked me to play another duet with you.  I felt privileged to play by your side.  We make a pretty good team, if you ask me - mostly because you are pretty patient with your imperfect Mom!  Thank you for always giving me another chance and the courage to try again!

 All of your teachers you have ever had have loved you so much.  It is impossible not to love your kind heart and genuine friendship.  You can see in this picture as your piano teacher is emotional, that she is one who has been touched by your friendship.  We appreciate your good teachers so much and love to see you treat them with love and respect as well.

 You did awesome as usual.  You never cease to amaze me at your confidence performing your piano pieces in front of a large group!  You have done amazing the last few years at both the Spring and December recitals, playing prelude at church on special occasions like Mother's Day, Father's Day, and Christmas and you even played in your school talent show and have plans to do the same this Spring!  We are so proud of you for being willing to share your talent with others and the hard work you put in to have this talent to share!

 I think we need to get an enormous vacuum like this to get you excited about vacuuming at our house!  You love these big machines!

 And these guys were happy to help you with the cord!

 Afterwards, we enjoyed driving around listening to Christmas music and looking at Christmas lights . . .

 It was Dad's idea if you can't tell :).

 And, this picture just makes me think about how it seems like yesterday that you were as little as your baby brother!  He wears your old clothes and I call him "Drew" on accident sometimes.  Pretty soon I know I will look back and he will be as big as you and you will be all grown up!!!  I get emotional just thinking about it.  But, no matter what, you will always be my baby and I will always love you!  I heard a quote recently that puts my thoughts into words, "Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." This is so true.  Maybe that is why I started crying so much after you were born - or actually I believe it started when you were in my tummy!!!

 You are so good to share your birthday month with all the fun Christmas activities including your sisters' new musical events this year.  Jesi had her first Christmas recital and you were so good to cheer her on.  She did a wonderful job just like her big brother!

 She loves her teacher too.

 Jesi had to learn several new, complicated songs for the Christmas recital with very little time to practice and did an amazing job playing with the other kids! 

 She is on the 2nd to last song in Suzuki Violin book 1.

 Kassi also had her Christmas Recital for "Let's Play Music" and loved sharing some of her new songs on the bells and actions to some songs with us.

 I think your playing the piano and performing through the years has given your little sisters the courage to do the same!  You are such a good example to them and so good to support them in their efforts as well!

 Your birthday week is always crazy and I always have a hard time getting you to tell me what you want for your birthday cake.  Last year you decided you just wanted a big Costco pumpkin pie.  This year you decided you didn't want a cake either.  You wanted Krispie Kreme Doughnuts instead!  So, to be festive and somewhat birthday themed, we put the remaining doughnuts on this candle and sang Happy Birthday to you!  You thought it was pretty cool!  That was all that mattered!

 Sometime during the week of your birthday we also took you out to Village Inn for some lunch, since we had 4 free kids' meals.  Although we did find out that the drinks and the dessert on the kids' menu weren't part of the free meal.  So, we splurged at Village Inn all for your big b-day meal :)!  Big Spenders!

 I love the above picture as you were trying to find out what Jesi needed so that you could serve her.  I hope you always have a desire to serve others.  I know it will continue to make you happy throughout your life as you choose to serve.

 These pictures are of you sharing your new remote control truck that you got for your birthday from Grandma and Grandpa with Nathan, who wanted a turn driving it.  I was so happy watching you teach him how to play with your new toy.  You loved sharing and it was such a sweet moment to me!

 And, just to illustrate what a good sport you are with all of life's craziness - we were so looking forward to this pack night where you would be receiving your Webelos badge and your Arrow of Light.  You have worked so hard in Cub Scouts to receive all of your awards and it has been so fun helping you learn and grow through these last few years in the program.  So, it was crazy that we somehow got going on chores and life and completely spaced the most important Pack Night of your Cub Scout career!  Thankfully my friend is the cub-master in our ward and she texted me before it was over.  So, we quickly got the kids out of the tub and into their pajamas :) and put on your unironed new Boy Scout shirt (because we couldn't find your decorated Cub Scout shirt at the time) and ran over as fast as we could.  Not so presentable, but we were there and we just barely made it in time!  We couldn't have been more proud of you and the hard work you put into the last few years of cub scouts.  We hope you always remember that hard work pays off - maybe not always in money, but always in character!  Way to go, Drew!

 And this last picture is of you with your sisters and your best school friend having some hot chocolate after school.  I think they all feel lucky to be your friends as we all do!  You are such a huge blessing in all of our lives - all of us who have had the opportunity to know you.  Thank you for putting up with the craziness of December and never complaining.  Thank you for being born that December 11 years ago.  Thank you for coming to our family and brightening it with your smile and your fun personality.  We have loved you SO much, we love you SO much, and we ALWAYS will!!!  Happy VERY belated birthday, Drew.  I hope that this coming year I can talk you into celebrating a half birthday for your sake :)!  And, then I'm pretty sure I won't be 3 months late blogging about it which would save me from a lot of guilt!  We LOVE YOU, DREW!!!!!

What I Love About You - Valentine's Day 2013

I wish I could say I LOVED picture day.  It is honestly one of the most dreaded days of the year (the years we actually do family portraits).  I guess that shows how un-picture-perfect things are most days of the year :)! But, I do LOVE my sweet sister-in-law Cari who was willing to put up with our crazy family and take these priceless photos of my children and our family last Fall!  Since today is Valentine's Day I thought I'd allow myself to write down just a few things I LOVE about my sweet Valentines. 

 I LOVE kissing those soft, warm cheeks of yours over and over again as soon as you wake up in the morning or in the afternoon after your nap.  I also LOVE the fact that most days you will go down for a little nap or down to bed without a fight as long as we read you all of your favorite books - in the same exact order each time and then sing you all the verses of your favorite song, in which we prompt you to say the last word.  You have us pretty much wrapped around your little finger and you know it.  And, we LOVE it.

 I LOVE your sense of adventure and how your eyes light up when you get excited and want to show or tell me something.  Those big blue eyes are irresistible and are framed by some of the longest eye lashes I've ever seen (of course since they are so light and you are fair skinned, only those of us closest to you get to see them and enjoy your butterfly kisses).  I LOVE the way you giggle when we give you butterfly kisses by the way!  You insist on doing everything yourself these days and you get so excited when you do things by yourself for the first time and we LOVE to see your eyes light up and hear your sweet voice say "Na Na did it!!!"  Some of your recent accomplishment include buckling your own seatbelt (the top part), getting dressed (usually backwards, but you don't seem to mind a bit), brushing your own hair and teeth (I'm a little nervous about how your 1st dental check-up will go b/c you refuse to let us help you), and reading a few of your favorite stories to us!

 I LOVE how concerned you are when anyone gets hurt.  You always get the sweetest concerned look on your face as you hurry over to give someone a hug to make it all better while saying something like, "ooooh, Jesi!?!  You otay?!?"  And, no matter how bad the hurt was, your hug always does make things better.  You make the world a better place, little Nathan and we are so lucky to have you in our family.  Most of all, we all LOVE the way you LOVE with all your heart!!!

I LOVE how you are full of surprises and have a spunky little mind of your own.  We can never guess what is going on in that head of yours unless we ask, and whenever we do ask, you never fail to surprise us!  Life is all bright and beautiful in your eyes and you only brighten and beautify it more with your fun personality and your LOVE.

 I LOVE how you tag along with your big sister and want to do everything with her.  I LOVED how today when I took you to the store hoping to get an idea or two for your birthday, you kept saying, "Mom, can we get this for Jesi?!?"  I don't remember you asking for one thing for yourself, but you must have asked me to buy a dozen things for your sister.  It is a good thing your birthdays are close together - your ideas will come in handy, especially since you LOVE anything matching your older sis!  You fit in the family exactly how I did in mine (a brother as the oldest sibling and then an older sister).  I LOVE how excited you are to play with your siblings, creating, make-believing, singing, dancing, and doing anything in the great outdoors.  Oh, and did I mention how much I LOVE watching you stand on your head?  You've got some serious talent girl and I'm so glad I get to watch you!

Oh, how I LOVE how you make us laugh every single day!  You were born an entertainer.  When you were a baby, you'd always have one foot up on the high chair or table.  You would always make funny faces - to us or in the mirror to yourself.  It is amazing how each of you children can be so incredibly different.  I guess I thought you and your sister would be so similar.  But, you have been almost polar opposites in personality.  I LOVE your uniqueness and I love you top to bottom and inside out and I am so grateful you are a part of our family, Kassi Lily!

I LOVE your sweetness.  I LOVE your kindness.  I LOVE how you freely show your affection to your family and how you express your love to those who take the time to get to know you through love notes, goodies, hugs, and the sweet gift of your sweet voice.  I LOVE how you found a new voice for yourself this past year in playing the violin.  You are not shy when it comes to playing your music for others and I hope you will always share your talents with those around you.  You recently asked me right before my lesson in Relief Society if you could play your violin as part of my lesson.  I was shocked, but you did it and you did an amazing job.  You said your legs got shaky, but I was so proud of you for wanting to help me with my lesson and for the courage you displayed that day out of LOVE.

 I LOVE how you are a little Mommy!  You have always taken such good care of everyone around you - including your own mother!  You have been my constant little helper from the time you were  less than 2 years old.  I remember I used to wish our kitchen had a little pull out cutting board low enough for you to stand on because we were always moving a chair around the kitchen for you to help me with this or that!  I LOVED how today when I helped with your school Valentine's Day party, that the girl sitting at your desk said, "I like Jesi's desk!"  I wondered what was so different about your desk.  They all looked the same to me.  When I asked her, she said "It is so clean and organized inside!"  That made me smile.  You do love to organize, so I guess I should have guessed your desk would reflect that.  Most of all, I LOVE your tight hugs that squeeze my heart and your sincere LOVE and faith.  We all love our little peacemaker, Jesi, and we don't know what we'd do without you in our family!

 I LOVE how you love to chat with your dad and I.  Some of my favorite times spent with you have been before bed as I get to talk to you about all kinds of things - most recently about girls and how your teacher said you HAD to have a Valentine for the 5th and 6th grade roller skating party!  You said that you needed to be in your 20's before you had a Valentine.  I have obviously taught you well :)!  I was happy you survived Valentine's Day without any heart breaks.  You will always be my Valentine!  I also LOVE how after school, it takes you forever to get out of the school because you have to swing by all of your old teacher's classrooms to say hi and give them a big hug.  You are the sweetest boy and anyone is very fortunate who is able to call you their friend!

I LOVE how you love to take charge and plan things out.  You are an excellent planner and since the time you were about 3 years old, you have asked me at least once a day, "So, what's the plan, Mom?"  You LOVE to know exactly what is going to happen throughout the day and we like to plan fun things for when we get our work done!  You are very good about helping anyone who asks for your help.  I LOVE how you have always sounded so grown up.  I can still imagine that little toddler Drew putting his hand on his hip and getting a concerned look on his face while talking on the phone and sounding like an adult.  You still amaze me with your phone etiquette, your concern and love for those around you and what they are going through, and your memory when it comes to people, places, and technology.  I don't know what I'll do someday without you to help me remember who drives what car in our neighborhood or where I parked the car!  In fact, you were the one that realized I tried to drive away with our neighbor's look alike car after church one week (if you'd been with me, I'm sure you would have known it was not our Subaru in the first place)!!!

I LOVE to see you smile.  I LOVE to see you happy.  I LOVE to ride bikes and hang out with you.  I LOVE to watch you laugh and play catch with your dog.  I LOVE the joy you have brought into our lives with your sweet, kind spirit.  I LOVE you, Drew! 

These photos make me laugh.  We were about to head back to the cars after our photo shoot when Cari asked if she could take some pictures of Andy and I.  Ha ha.  We had a little too much fun.  We couldn't stop laughing.  And, honestly I wouldn't have posted most of these, but Jesi insisted that she LOVED them, so I will post these for posterity's sake :).  If nothing else, they show that Andy and I really do LOVE each other too much to not LOVE every minute we spend with each other!  One of the things we were dying laughing about was how someone had told us about an awkward engagement photo blog and how we could probably make the blog with some of our photos.  So, I'm going to trust anyone who has actually made it to the bottom of this post not to turn our photos into that blog :)!  Thanks in advance!!!  Ha ha.

I LOVE how you have kept your promise to make me laugh every single day.  I think some of our smile lines have been caused by our laughing a little too much over the last 12 years!  I LOVE how even during hard, stressful times raising our children, we can look at each other and smile and know that we will make it through and be better for doing so.  I LOVE how you quickly open your hymn book at church and then hand it quickly over to me and ask me to hand you the other book that I just picked up.  I LOVE how you are always willing to put others first and take no thought for yourself.  I LOVE how you put God and your family 1st, always.  I LOVE how you work hard and support our family day in and day out.  I LOVE how you have a constant desire to serve.  I LOVE how patient you are with me and with each of our children and with every single person you meet.  You are my hero, Andy Walker!

You lift me up when I am down.  You help me have the courage to spread my wings and try new things.  You make me want to be more than I am.  You make me want to be worthy of your LOVE.

I don't know how I could ever deserve each and every one of you, but I will keep on trying, every single day of my life!

I LOVE you!!!
Side note:  We thought it would be fun to do some of those family pictures from behind (I wish I knew how to photoshop my own behind :), but it was hilarious because we had been sitting on the railroad tracks and all of our bums were black - as well as Nathan and Kassi's hands from throwing rocks - but baby wipes took care of that!  I will always carry baby wipes with me until the day I die.  They work miracles.  I love how Drew is squinting his eyes, Jesi is looking down, Kassi is doing a leg lift and Nathan is watching and smiling and waiting for us to get going again to throw him up in the air!  As fun as it is to try to coordinate outfits and keep everyone happy for family pictures, I LOVE the memories!

Memorable Kiddo Conversations January 2013

Here are just a few things that made me laugh and/or smile the last couple weeks (the things that I actually took the time to write down) and I will try not to kick myself for not writing down all the other things that I knew I would never be able to forget and of course as usual, I did the unthinkable and forgot ;)!  I am just including a couple pictures that I feel go along with the theme of this post (The kiddos playing twister - which seems to fit all the crazy funny things we do and say around our house).

Kassi really wanted to "help" me and decided that she would do a good deed and wash the table.  A few minutes later she came to me with horror in her eyes and in her horrified voice said, "MOM . . . . . YOU HAVE TO MAKE THEM EAT SOMEWHERE ELSE!!!  I JUST CLEANED THE TABLE!!!  (I of course felt very sympathetic to her cause because I completely understand the feelings she was having, but had to smile thinking that this was great preparation for motherhood.)  I strongly believe that it is okay to occasionally cry over spilled milk :).  But, hopefully most days we can see the full picture and just laugh!

Setting:  Attempting to get over a nasty winter cold.
Heidi - "What is that all over Nathan's Shirt?"
Kassi - "I think it is boogers!"
Nathan - "NO, WUNNY (RUNNY) NOSE!
Heidi - (laughing)
Nathan - "WUNNY NOSE, WUNNY NOSE, WUNNY NOSE (Repeated about 20 times and then followed with the song "JINGLE BELLS" as he loves to make us laugh and apparently he knew that his runny nose comment made me laugh about as much as I always do when he tries to sing "JINGLE BELLS".

Kassi - Unable to reach a game in the basement came upstairs and asked me, "Mom, Do you know how to do tippy toes? (She was concerned that I wouldn't be able to reach it either.)  I CAN SHOW YOU!!!  Then of course, she proceeded to do tippy toes throughout the house to demonstrate.

Last night I was rocking Nathan and cuddling in the rocking chair after singing his bedtime song (I am a Child of God) when I told him, "I love you."  Nathan sweetly replied, "No, Jesus Loves You!"  I knew what he said, but decided to ask him, "Jesus Loves Me?"  He then said, "Jesus Loves Me!", which he repeated several times softly.  He just learned how to say "I Love Daddy and I Love Mommy a month or so ago and earlier that week had said "I ... Love ... B.Y.U." and "I ... Love ... Football!" (with no coaching, believe it or not), so this was extremely sweet to hear him say "Jesus Loves Me!"

(A week or two later in the car he said, "I love night night (surprise).  I love Mommy.  I love Daddy.  I love Jesi.  I love Drew.  I love Kassi.  I love temples."  (He has been calling out "TEMPLE!!!" often in the car the last 6 months or so and it took me a while to figure out that he calls the mountains temples!  With there being so many church buildings and temples in Utah, I was a little confused for a while.

When Drew was a toddler, I believe, Andy and I attended a few "Parenting with Love and Logic" classes.  One of the main parenting ideas is that in order to let your child feel like they have some control over their life (and hopefully avoid tantrums), rather than telling them to do something, you give them a choice between 2 acceptable things.  So, for example, rather than saying "Okay, it is time for bed.  Lets brush teeth first."  you might say, "Okay, it is time for bed.  Should we brush teeth or put on our pj's first?"  This didn't always work with my kids.  A lot of times they were too smart and would say, "I don't want to do either!"  or something to that extent.  Well, Kassi has taken it to a whole new level.  It has completely backfired on me with her.  She has been doing this for months, but I finally wrote down one of our conversations that illustrates my point.  Kassi asked me if she could watch a movie and I answered no.  Then a little later she asked if we could make popsicles and I had to answer no to that as well.  So, as soon as I answered no to her second suggestion, she asked me, "Can we watch a movie or make popsicles?  Which one?"  She is trying to parent me apparently!!!

Yesterday Nathan was pointing to a little picture of my parents that is on the end table by my bed.  He was pointing to my dad and saying, "Pa Pa" and to my mom saying "Gamma".  He has often looked at that picture and said, "Gamma", but I was always sad because he didn't call my dad "Grandpa".  I of course was sad because I wish my children had the opportunity in this life to get to know my amazing Dad.  Drew was 4 when he passed away and Jesi was barely a year old.  Well, this time he was calling my dad "Pa Pa", which made me really happy and then he said, "Pa Pa help me."  Since he doesn't speak in past tense yet, I can't help but hope that he was saying that he knows my dad personally because he has seen him and been helped by him.  I don't doubt that one bit.  It is amazing this little boy is alive with the adventurous spirit he has!  I try to be diligent as his mother, but I wouldn't be surprised if angels were sent to help him at times!  And, who would love to be sent to my children's aid more than my amazing angel Dad.

This year I tried not to make my typical extremely long list of New Year Resolutions.  Instead, I felt really strongly that I need to simplify my life, getting rid of insignificant things and focusing on the most important things in my life.  In short, I want to make more time for those who mean the most to me.  So, I've been trying to do that.  I've been examining and changing my schedule to fit my priorities where they will not be overrun by other, less important things.  It is making a difference and I have a long way to go.  But, I was happy to hear Kassi explaining something to Nathan today that gave me hope that I'm at least making some progress in this area.  Kassi said, "Nathan, "Not right now means YES"!"  I remember Jesi telling Kassi a year or two ago that "maybe" means "probably not" (that made me feel extremely guilty at the time because at that moment I was too busy to do something fun with them).  So, I am hopeful that I am moving in the right direction and I hope that those who I love will never feel like I was too busy for them!!!  And, then I know that I won't regret the choices that I made throughout my life as it pertains to my family and friends and my relationships on this earth.  So, here I go posting some of my little memories with my loved ones that I hope I will never forget.  And, since I took the time to write them down, maybe I really won't forget!