I was sure that I finally came up with the perfect solution to all of my blogging problems. Sunday afternoons Andy usually has meetings and the rest of our family is tired and the kids love watching home movies and relaxing after church. Perfect time for updating the blog. Wednesday afternoons are pretty much the only time I have completely to myself as Kassi is usually playing with a friend during Nathan's nap. Ironically, today, the first day I am attempting to accomplish my new goal to write about whatever I feel like writing about, Nathan refused to take a nap. I'm a little nervous that this will be a 1 year on, 1 year off thing as he refused to go to sleep until he was a year old and then slept pretty well from the age of 1-2. He just turned 2. Should I be nervous?!? But, since he is now contentedly not into any kind of mischief, I will attempt to get back to business. I have enjoyed keeping a journal ever since I was a little girl. As each of our 4 sweet children have joined our family, I have slowly become more and more lazy about journaling and I really miss it! And, to make things worse, since I'm not writing things down and have no memory these days, I am afraid my children and I will miss out on a lot of the thoughts, feelings, and funny/memorable things that happen around here. So, I'm hoping this new goal will help me to step back and write about things that are really important to me, rather than constantly stressing myself out with guilty feelings for not blogging about every single picture that I take. That would be absolutely impossible for just about anyone anyway!
I have always enjoyed gardening. My father was a farmer and we always had a large garden growing up - especially in our first house where we lived until I was about 12 years old! We love our vegetable garden now. The kids eat cherry tomatoes like candy! But, I have this problem every year in my flower garden. Every single year I have some plants growing in the flower beds that I'm not sure whether or not I should pull. I can't seem to tell if they are weeds or flowers. Part of this is due to our needing to replace our fence and I figure we can't landscape much until we replace it. So, I splurge on a plant or two each year and place them in random places and I don't have a grid of what I have planted. Anyway, this year I had this beautiful weed growing - right in the middle of a few perennials. By the time I KNEW it was a weed, my poor perennials had suffered almost beyond repair. This weed had grown so large and taken so much of the sunlight away from the poor beautiful flowers it overshadowed, that they were barely surviving (if at all). It really made me think about how I REALLY DO NEED A PLAN. If I had had a grid of what I want this flower bed to look like and know where I want my flowers growing and thriving, this would never have happened. This weed does have some pretty yellow flowers that open when the sun hits them, but at what cost?
This experience made me think about life and how bombarded we are with so many different weeds that we may just let grow until we realize we have sacrificed something extremely precious to us. For some of us this may be a schedule that is so jammed packed with "good" things that there is no time for the "best" things. It made me think, "What weeds are in my life that may be overtaking the flowers that could be thriving?" And, "What flowers am I growing and are they getting enough sunlight?"
I have been busy brutally uncluttering (spell check doesn't agree with me that uncluttering is most certainly a word) my schedule, my office, my closet, my life. I still have a lot of work to do. We held a little yard sale and it was so fun to see the reaction many people had when they found "treasures" in our spread of items that were cluttering our home (many of which were treasures to me when I found them at a yard sale :). I am trying to simplify and rid my home of any obligations and things that are getting in the way of more quality family time. It is exciting. The weeds are diminishing and the flowers will soon be getting more sunshine!
The above picture is even sadder. I swear I planted bulbs in this pot last year. So, although these little plants weren't flowering, I was certain they would produce beautiful flowers if I waited long enough! I still can't figure out what happened. Did these weeds overtake the little bulbs I planted? I couldn't find the bulbs in the soil after I pulled the weeds, so maybe I never planted bulbs in this pot after all?!? If there is one thing I have learned, it is that I often can't distinguish the weeds in my life from flowers in my life without help. I know that we can receive help in discerning what things are truly important - those things that will bring us lasting joy, if we sincerely seek it. I know that starting my day out by seeking inspiration through prayer and study (and occasionally reviewing my to-do list afterwards) is the only way I make it through some days! And, it is amazing how my attitude changes when I know I'm doing the "best" things I could possibly be doing that day. I listen a little better, ponder the beauty of life a little more, and love a whole lot better when I seek inspiration first!
I remember reading an article a year or two ago about a farmer who was explaining to his daughter that any plant growing from the previous year, that wasn't the same as the crop they were growing that year had to be considered a weed. That lesson can be hard to learn. If we are doing something that is good, why get rid of it. But, I realize from this lesson, that I have to decide what my most important crop(s) are for the year and be willing to let the other things go, even if it is just for that year. I remember weeding my dad's wheat fields very well. The Canadian thistle weeds that brought swarms of bees with them were the worst. And there was very rarely one weed - they grew and dropped their seeds and turned into huge patches of prickly weeds in a matter of no time. Unfortunately, I like to think in the back of my head that I can do it all! But, boy do those weeds spread and take over! My kiddos are so good to remind me that sometimes you have to give up some of those "good" things in order to focus on those things at are most important. For example, Nathan just found me and is swinging my chair around and saying, "ME! ME! ME!"
So, I will try to more consistently keep this blog updated so that I can forever remember the cherished moments I have with these sweet children - moments that are going to be gone much sooner than I'm SURE I realize!!! And, maybe I can wear this boy out enough so that next Wednesday afternoon, he will actually take a nap!
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